Dogs don't cry.

Dogs love it when your friends come over.

Dogs don't care if you use their shampoo.

Dogs think you sing great.

A dog's time in the bathroom is confined to a quick drink.

Dogs don't expect you to call when you are running late.

The later you are, the more excited dogs are to see you.

Dogs will forgive you for playing with other dogs.

Dogs don't notice if you call them by another dog's name.

Dogs understand that farts are funny.

Dogs can appreciate excessive body hair.

Anyone can get a good-looking dog.

Dogs don't shop.

Dogs like it when you leave lots of things on the floor.

A dogs disposition stays the same all month long.

Dogs never need to examine the relationship.

A dog's parents never visit.

Dogs love long car trips.

Dogs like beer.

Dogs don't hate their bodies.

No dog ever bought a Kenny G or Yanni CD.

No dog ever put on 100 lb. after reaching adulthood.

Dogs never criticize.

Dogs don't want to know about every other dog you ever had.

Dogs like to do their snooping outside, as opposed to in your wallet, desk and the back of your sock drawer.

Dogs don't let magazine articles guide their lives.

Dogs would rather have you buy them a hamburger dinner than a lobster one.

Dogs have no use for flowers, cards or jewelry.

Dogs don't borrow your shirts.

Dogs never want foot-rubs.

Dogs enjoy heavy petting in public.

Dogs find you amusing when you're drunk.

Dogs can't talk.

Dogs seldom outlive you.