"Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's much too dark to read."

-- Groucho Marx

"If your dog is fat, you aren't getting enough exercise."

-- Unknown

"Some days you're the dog; some days you're the hydrant."

-- Unknown

"Whoever said you can't buy happiness forgot about puppies."

-- Gene Hill

"In dog years, I'm dead."

-- Unknown

"To his dog, every man is Napoleon; hence the constant popularity of dogs."

-- Aldous Huxley

"A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down."

-- Robert Benchley

"Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in? I think that's how dogs spend their lives."

-- Sue Murphy

"I loathe people who keep dogs. They are cowards who haven't got the guts to bite people themselves."

-- August Strindberg

"No animal should ever jump up on the dining room furniture unless absolutely certain that he can hold his own in the conversation."

-- Fran Lebowitz

"Ever consider what they must think of us? I mean, here we come back from a grocery store with the most amazing haul -- chicken, pork, half a cow. They must think we're the greatest hunters on earth!"

-- Anne Tyler

"I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult."

-- Rita Rudner